Vanessa Reiser Runs Across New York States to Promote Awareness of Narcissistic Domestic Abuse
Vanessa Reiser is a survivor of a specific type of abuse, Narcissistic Domestic Abuse. She will wear a wedding dress for a 285-mile entire one-woman run to symbolize the silent victims who fall prey to this at the hands of their partners. The NYC Narcissistic Abuse Run’s mission is to help bring light to this lesser-known form of abuse.
Vanessa, a clinical therapist, will begin her journey in Oswego, NY and plans to complete her run 12 days later, arriving at Jay Hood park, New York City.
“People tend to think of a narcissist as someone who has an inflated ego. However, there is trauma that is caused by narcissistic abuse and runs deeper than most realize,” says Reiser, a licensed psychotherapist in New York, New Jersey and Massachusetts that specializes in narcissistic abuse and domestic violence. Her experience has led her to begin her non-profit Tell A Therapist that is dedicated to connecting people nationwide with empathetic clinicians in their area that specialize in narcissistic abuse and narcissism recovery.
Studies show that domestic violence calls to police and shelters in the U.S. have risen between 6% and 21% (variation depending on data source) since the start of the pandemic, with the largest increase happening the first five weeks of quarantine. Calls to shelters and hotlines have also increased. Google searches for information about domestic violence hotlines have also gone up, with spikes last April, a time when most of the U.S. was under stay-at-home orders. Some centers are reporting an increase of 70% in calls to the centers in New York.
“What I want the world to know is that narcissism is not about selfies. As a psychotherapist, I know the clinical criteria someone has to meet to be diagnosed as a narcissist, but I did not know the true meaning of what narcissistic abuse was and what it was like for the victims who lived with it, until I started to research. I am now part of a tribe; a group of special superheroes who have survived it. The damage that true narcissists cause is so tremendous; the daily circular conversations, the gaslighting, the lack of empathy, the controlling behaviors, the isolation, manipulation, insatiable attention-seeking, addictive behaviors, anxiousness, entitled thinking, love-bombing, future-faking, lying, cheating, devaluing, and silent treatment are continuous and demented.”
Vanessa also has a goal to raise $200,000 through her run and will donate all proceeds to Domestic Violence Centers in each County she runs through. For a map of Vanessa’s 285-mile route, visit https://www.mapmyrun.com/routes/view/4192459672. For more information on narcissistic abuse and how to support Vanessa’ run, please visit www.tellatherapist.org.
Vanessa’s run goes through the following New York State counties:
- Oswego County
- Onondaga County
- Madison County
- Otsego County
- Delaware County
- Sullivan County
- Orange County
- New York County (Manhattan)
VANESSA’S STORY
When Vanessa was first told, by one of her ex’s first victims, that this person was a “narcissist,” She had no idea what this meant, even though she knew her abuser was deeply flawed. As a psychotherapist, Vanessa knew the clinical criteria someone has to meet to be diagnosed as a narcissist but she did not know the true meaning of what narcissistic abuse was, and what it was like for the victims who lived with it, until she lived with one. Vanessa was now part of a tribe; a group of special superheroes who have survived it. The damage that true narcissists cause is so tremendous; the daily circular conversations, the gaslighting, the lack of empathy, the controlling behaviors, the isolation, manipulation, insatiable attention-seeking, addictive behaviors, anxiousness, entitled thinking, love-bombing, future-faking, lying, cheating, devaluing, and silent treatment are continuous and demented. Vanessa had become used to this bad behavior but when the final straw was in 2019 when left her stranded in Provincetown, Cape Cod and she had to take a rental car all the way home and just to see she was padlocked out of the house. She knew he was demented when he began to threaten Vanessa’s social work license and actively tried to get her kicked off the board of The Center for Safety and Change. Vanessa stayed because of the fake tears and love bombing, but after a few more months, she left him for good on March 25, 2020. It was ugly; he spit on her, called her a fat whore, told her her father (who died when Vanessa was 18; she’s now 47) was a loser and bleached her clothes in the driveway as she was trying to flee the home with the help of a friend. He, subsequently, threatened her social work license, wrote a letter to the Center for Safety and Change, the local domestic violence center where Vanessa sits on the board, trying to get her kicked off claiming HE was the victim of domestic violence!
Vanessa filed a restraining order in April 2020 and he went and got one the DAY AFTER. On 11/28/2020, a man slashed her tires behind the apple store whilst she was sitting in her car, she had suspicion it was him and then the next day, he coincidently went to the police and tried to file a complaint against me for some supposed incident that occurred in July (6 months prior).
Vanessa was so afraid at first but she knew the only way out was to come into her power; her self-love.
Narcissism is a popular buzzword that is used incorrectly when people are taking selfies or behaving selfishly. Narcissistic people engage in WAY more serious form of chronic manipulation and devaluation of their victims, leaving victims feeling worthless, confused, inadequate, depressed, anxious and even suicidal. Vanessa shook for 9 days after she left her abuser and the data tells us that it is similar to coming off of a drug. This is the trauma bond. The narcissist is a “One Trick Pony” that always repeats the same interactions around the same issues and does it in the same places with the same story on repeat and you might even wonder if there is a “playbook” somewhere that they all learn from.
This experience made Vanessa realize that this was something she needed to make part of her work as a clinician. It is her mission to bring awareness around this issue. She strongly supports all victims and never blames. If someone as strong and as smart as her can become a victim of this Stockholm Syndrome, it can truly affect anyone. Even though she got her MSW from USC, being with this toxic partner would be the most important thing Vanessa could’ve ever learned; her rebirth. This has translated into a new mission for her. She does this for all of the victims of domestic violence.
Villa Premiere Boutique Hotel & Romantic Getaway Reopens to Guests with Revised Safety Protocols
One of our favorite upscale spots in Puerto Vallarta, the Villa Premiere Boutique Hotel, is available for private stays in comfort.
With Puerto Vallarta entering a new Phase of its economic and tourist reactivation and the reopening of its beaches, Villa Premiere Boutique Hotel & Romantic Getaway has reopened its doors, while adopting new hygiene and safety protocols to ensure safe spaces and experiences for its guests.
The state of Jalisco, and Puerto Vallarta along with it, was recently recognized with the “Safe Travels” stamp from the World Travel and Tourism Council (WTTC). The specially designed stamp allows travelers across the globe to identify governments and companies that have adopted world-class hygiene and sanitation standards so that consumers can experience “Safe Travels.”
Beaches located in front of Puerto Vallarta’s hotels are open to visitors, and hotels are now authorized to operate with controlled capacity. Hotel swimming pools, beach clubs and restaurants are permitted to open, but hotel gyms and spas will remain closed.
Villa Premiere Boutique Hotel & Romantic Getaway, as part of Buenaventura Hotel Group, has developed and implemented safety and hygiene protocols pointing out the five directives under which the protocol was created — “HOGAR,” which stands for “HOME” in Spanish — to make you feel as safe as in your home:
- Hygiene & Disinfection
- Order & Control
- Guarantee of Everyone’s Well-being
- Accommodations and Social Distancing
- Responsibility
The following are some of the practices that will be implemented as part of this “new normal,” including investments in specialized equipment for disinfection, washing, rinsing and drying accessories in rooms and kitchens. There is also new equipment and procedures in place for disinfecting footwear, suitcases, bags and strollers upon guest arrival. Frequent cleaning and filter replacement of cooling systems and swimming pools will be strictly supervised.
As for customer service, social distancing of 6 feet between individuals in waiting spaces — such as check-in / check-out, access to bars and restaurants, and lounge areas, among others — will be maintained. Specific personnel for maid and butler service will be assigned to each floor and reservations at specialty restaurants will be suggested.
Antibacterial gel dispensers have been placed in common areas. To respect minimum social distancing of 6 feet, furniture has been relocated, thus reducing restaurant capacity, with a maximum of six diners per table. The distribution of lounge and beach chairs will respect social distancing and the allocation of rooms will be alternated, maintaining as much distance as possible between designated rooms. The constant use of airway protectors for all guests will be suggested and a personal protection kit for each guest will be included in the room amenities.
These safety and hygiene protocols follow the recommendations of the World Tourism Organization (UNWTO); the World Health Organization (WHO); and federal, state and municipal government guidelines, as well as the criteria and contributions of Puerto Vallarta’s Hotel Association for the reactivation of economic and tourism activity.
With these actions, Buenaventura Hotel Group and Villa Premiere Boutique Hotel & Romantic Getaway aim to provide safe spaces for guests, suppliers, collaborators and, in general, society at large, while generating experiences of leisure, fun and comfort through products and services with quality and warmth, placing visitor well-being first.
For more information visit,
Villa Premiere Boutique Hotel & Romantic Getaway
www.premiereonline.com.mx
Boutique Hotel, Adults – Only
Travel: Escape to the California Chill and Wine of Mendocino
Looking for a travel destination that is relaxing, nature-oriented, and full of ways to chill? Mendocino in Northern California meets all of these must-haves.
From the peaceful canopy of ancient Redwoods to the emerald meadows dotted with frolicking lambs and the blazing show of colorful flowers all around, spring is a stunning time to be in Mendocino on the coast of Northern California. Tender shoots and young vegetables are gathered to incorporate into fabulously fresh dishes while wines bottled in 2017 make their much-anticipated debut.
The creeks that run through Maple Creek Winery in Mendocino’s Yorkville Highlands are bursting their banks thanks to a wonderfully wet winter, promising juicy vintages to come, while their handcrafted premium Artevino wines from previous years have been collecting prizes. The 2017 Chardonnay and Pinot Noirs won Gold Medals at the San Francisco International Wine Competition and the American Fine Wine Competition.
In addition, Maple Creek’s 2016 Maple Creek Estate Chardonnay was chosen to represent Mendocino at 46 Whole Foods stores from Sacramento to Santa Cruz. But the best way to experience the boutique wines, crafted by winemaker Tom Rodrigues, is to stop by their friendly tasting room on Mendocino’s famed wine highway, Route 128. Maple Creek Winery, 20799 Hwy 128, Yorkville, CA 95494, (707) 895-3001, www.maplecreekwine.com.
The Japanese practice of “Shinrin-yoku,”or “forest bathing,” involves immersing oneself in the forest’s atmosphere, a proven technique for care and healing of the body. Since there’s no better place to take in the forest than surrounded by Mendocino’s ancient Redwoods, the Brewery Gulch Inn—which always tops lists of the best inns and resorts in California—has two new packages incorporating “Shinrin-yoku.” Constructed in 2001 from 150-year old redwood reclaimed from the nearby Big River, the Inn is an architectural masterpiece and itself a relaxing haven for mind and body, renowned for locally-focused haute cuisine, indulgently comfortable rooms and impeccable, personalized service.
The team at Brewery Gulch brings this revitalizing experience to the next level with the help of Delphine Davidson, a certified yoga instructor, Clinical Traditional Family Herbalist and Health Coach, who has studied with such luminaries as Andrew Weil and Deepak Chopra. Delphine leads guests on two different Shinrin-yoku journeys. Brewery Gulch Inn, 9401 N. Highway One, Mendocino, CA 95460, (707) 937-4752, www.brewerygulchinn.com.
Those life-giving forests, fertile soil and clean waters of the Mendocino coast furnish plentiful delicacies if you know where to find them. The area boasts more than 3,000 kinds of mushrooms—some of which can only be found on this stretch of coast—salmon, crab and sea urchin, several varieties of seaweed, hard-to-find huckleberries and olallieberries, edible seeds, roots and more. The historic family-owned and operated Little River Inn has a package that teaches how to find this bounty and prepare and preserve it.
This is the second year for their popular FORAGE AND FERMENT package which pairs guests with local foraging experts to gather fodder for a feast that they will learn how to cook. This 3-day/2-night experience is from Friday, May 10 to Sunday, May 12, 2019, and has a limited number of spots. The Inn itself is a charming ocean view Inn, where you will find an award-winning restaurant, an Audubon-certified golf course, regulation tennis courts, and a day spa and full-service salon. Designed in tandem by Cally Dym, 5th generation owner and innkeeper, and her husband Marc Dym, Executive Chef at the property, this adventure in foraging and fermenting with local experts will help attendees uncover everything from mushrooms and herbs to seaweed and sea urchin.
The hands-on odyssey starts on Friday night at a welcome reception and cooking demonstration with Greg Fonts of Freedive Shop/Triton X, who will dive in the morning with his team for the evening’s appetizers. In previous years, Greg has come back with scallops, rock fish, box crabs and urchins. He explains where he found each sea creature, and how to prep and cook it.
Delectable cocktails, wine, and appetizers emphasizing locally gathered comestibles will be served. The next day, Saturday’s activities will feature mining the forest for treasures such as mushrooms, roots and berries with Kevin Smith, Countryman Forager, and later, guests head to the beach to collect savory seaweed and explore tide pools with Larry Knowles and Erica Fielder of Rising Tide Sea Vegetables. That night a communal feast will feature the day’s harvest with tips for preserving the hard-won delicacies. For more information, please visit https://www.littleriverinn.com/forage-and-ferment/. Little River Inn, 7901 N. Highway One, Little River, CA 95456, (707) 937-5942, www.littleriverinn.com.
For the most complete access to the deepest Redwood forests you have to ride the historic Skunk Train, one of California’s most cherished family attractions, or power yourself along the train tracks on one of their new railbikes. The railroad was built in the 1880s to move logs from the coastal town of Fort Bragg to the inland cowboy country of Willits. Steam and diesel-powered trains still chug through dense woods and zigzag along the lively Noyo River, providing unparalleled access to the Pacific Coast Temperate Rainforest. Young and old delight as the trains travel through tunnels and cross over trestles, all while sending clouds of steam skyward.
There are two scenic rides, the Pudding Creek Express and the Northspur Flyer, in addition to annual themed trains for holidays such as Halloween, Valentine’s Day and Christmas. Now there’s a new way to experience the Redwood Route, on a custom-built railbike. These two-person railbikes sit securely on the track, allowing passengers to make their journey in a peaceful and quiet atmosphere unlike anything else found on a railway. Travelers depart from a special railbikes launch area, with a trained guide overseeing everything and leading the way along the track. Since the track is owned and operated exclusively by the Skunk Train, they are able to guarantee no trains or other traffic along the route.
The bikes are incredibly easy to ride – perfect for all ages and skill levels. They even come with an electric assist—ideal for taking a relaxing breather while still moving along the track, or for a little bit of extra oomph while you make your way up the gentle grade on the return trip. These quiet conveyances provide a unique peak at rare spring wildflowers and shy forest critters. Skunk Train (California Western Railroad), 100 W. Laurel St, Fort Bragg, CA 95437, (707) 964-6371, www.skunktrain.com.
Coastal Mendocino is a riot of color, with flowers basking in the sun after a generous rainy season. The area is particularly famous for their rhododendrons. Over 124 species thrive there, some of which even have heavenly scents to match their vibrant beauty, unusual for these intense yet stately flowers. The Inn at Newport Ranch invites visitors to revel in these spectacular blooms with their Spring Bloom Special.
From April 15 through June 15, guests who book a two-night stay at the Inn will be welcomed on arrival by a small springtime bouquet and two tickets to visit the Mendocino Coast Botanical Gardens to witness the rhodies in full-bloom splendor. Open since early 2016, The Inn at Newport Ranch offers a breathtaking oceanfront experience, situated on 2,000 pristine private acres with 50-mile views across the Pacific. Guests have exclusive access to the vast property that encompasses virgin redwood forests, grasslands and beach. Some guests opt to tour the acreage on horseback or have a private ATV tour guided by a local with intimate knowledge of the terrain. They have all the amenities of a high-end hotel, from Ranch cuisine cooked from locally sourced ingredients (much of which is from their own organic gardens), to sumptuously appointed guest rooms, to the onsite Fireside Spa and a hot tub perched atop an old water tower.
The Inn’s interior spaces are designed to enhance the natural beauty of the location and each room is a bespoke masterpiece filled with handcrafted objects and fascinating items from the owner’s world travels. Recycled redwood trunks soar to cathedral ceilings, local wines are poured in front of a 20-foot fireplace, and stunning views are at your disposal all the time. The Main Inn Building includes the capacious Captain’s Quarters, with views of the crashing ocean; the Redwood House is held up by 24 recycled tree trunks, and each of the three elegant suites has a living room, dining area, kitchen, fireplace, and private deck; and the Sea Drum House is perched on an ocean bluff and has panoramic views, a chef’s kitchen and its own garden. The Inn at Newport Ranch, 31502 N. Highway One, Fort Bragg, CA 95437, (707) 962-4818, www.theinnatnewportranch.com.
Aaron Orbit, “Agua Mala”: Music Video Viewers Choice Award Winner
TasteTV and the MUSIC CALIFORNIA VIDEO AWARDS announced that Aaron Orbit, “Agua Mala” is a Music Video Viewers Choice Award Winner for the MUSIC CALIFORNIA VIDEO AWARDS.
The new single for “Agua Mala,” which translates to “bad water,” reveals itself to be a highly personal song. The differences in the optimistic, uplifting choruses, and the minor, menacing verses is indicative of the central message of the song: being determined to make change for the better…just not right now.
The “Agua Mala” video revolves around Aaron traversing the last place on earth where one would want to find the “bad water”…the hot, humid, arid desert. Donned in a full suit, Aaron wanders aimlessly across the sand with the sun blazing down from above. Assorted shots mixed in include black and white cuts of Aaron immersed underwater and the propulsive beat being executed on a drum set. Much like the theme of the song, however, the video is primarily an abundance of beautiful, vast shots of Aaron making his way across a seemingly never-ending landscape in search of something that just may not exist…
The MUSIC CALIFORNIA VIDEO AWARDS show takes place in one of San Francisco’s unique music venues, Neck of the Woods, and is an amazing evening bringing together music videos, musician appearances, fans, and of course music video awards.
Tickets for the event are available on Eventbrite
https://www.eventbrite.com/e/music-california-music-awards-2017-tickets-38854277189
and on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/MusicCaliforniaVideoAwards/
The USIC CALIFORNIA VIDEO AWARDS are an offshoot of TasteTV’s music television series for the San Francisco Bay Area and Wine Country, “MUSIC CALIFORNIA”. Reaching over 2.5 million households on PBS-affiliate station KRCB, MUSIC CALIFORNIA brings a festival of West Coast music to California viewers. The series includes featured music videos and interviews from California-based bands, artists, and musicians. More at www.TasteTV.com/music-california
Official sponsors of the “MUSIC CALIFORNIA VIDEO AWARDS” include: Clubcard Printing and more.
Artist bio courtesy of Hip Video Promo